Nudist Christmas Cookies!

Yes, I hand-sculpted breasts and penises and stuck them on cookies. I was wanting to make sugar cookies because that's what we have always done in my house in the past, but wanted to put my own spin on it now that I am moved out into my apartment. This idea struck me at Meijer while looking at cookie cutters and I thought it was grand. It's celebrating Christmas AND body love at the same time! Two birds, meet one stone. I used the recipe from Sugarbelle (click here to see it).

They are really easy to make, and I have to say a lot of fun. Sculpting bodies makes you feel like you're creating; instant god complex. I experimented a bit with frosting above, but I had a terrible time trying to control the stream. Next year I may work to further than technique, but I was getting too irritated tonight. I probably redid one nipple like 10 times! It just wasn't worth it.

Eat Your Vegetables Day: Homemade Guacamole

So I know what you're thinking. Is there vegetables in guacamole? Yes, yes there is. I've wanted to make some guacamole for some time now and I was under the impression that avocados were vegetables, which apparently they are not. But I did use a tomato, red onion, a Serrano pepper, and garlic, which all fall under the vegetable family. I'm actually not 100% sure if garlic is a vegetable, but I don't care, I made guacamole in celebration of Eat Your Vegetables Day and there is nothing we can do about it now. So let's move on.

I used:
2 avocados
1/4 red onion
1/2 Roma tomato
1 Serrano pepper
1 lime wedge (for the juice)
2 cloves of garlic
2 pinches of coarse salt
1 pinch of pepper
4 pinches of cut cilantro


These are just rough estimates about the exact amount, I added until I thought it tasted right. I probably could have used more cilantro, but other than that I loved it. The Serrano pepper gave it a little spice, but I only used one so it wasn't over-powering. I also should have been more careful when cutting the garlic cloves, since I had one chunk in the guac that was too big. I got a bite of that and I am still tasting it. With that lesson learned, this will definitely be a dish I will make in my near future.

Lailat al Miraj: The Importance of Daily Prayer

I haven't talked about a whole lot of other religions besides Christianity, so I thought today would be a great day to talk a little about Islam! Today is Lailat al Miraj, the Islamic holiday celebrating the Prophet Muhammad's Night Journey from Mecca to Jerusalem where he met with the former Prophets while ascending the Seven Heavens, referenced in the 17th sura of the Qur'an.¹ The angel Gabriel comes to Muhammad with the Buraq, a mythical winged horse who is known for carrying other Prophets. Muhammad rides to Jerusalem, where he ascends into the Seven Heavens with Gabriel guiding him. In the First Heaven he sees Adam looking at the good and bad souls of his descendants. In the Second Heaven he sees Jesus and John the Baptist.² In the Third Heaven he sees Joseph son of Jacob (the man from Genesis with the colorful coat, not Jesus' earthly father). In the Fourth Heaven he sees Enoch.³ In the Fifth Heaven he sees Moses' brother, Aaron. In the Sixth Heaven he sees Moses. In the Seventh Heaven he sees Abraham. Gabriel then takes him into Paradise, where he talks with Allah about the great importance of daily prayer.

On his way back to Mecca, Moses asks Muhammad how many times a day are the people to pray. Muhammad answers with 50. Moses tells Muhammad to go back to Allah to ask for that number to be reduced.⁴ Muhammad agrees, and after going again to Allah he returns, telling Moses the number has been reduced to 10 times a day. Moses again said that this number was too high, and so again Muhammad returned to Allah. When he returns he tells Moses that the number has been reduced to 5 times a day. Moses again says that this is too many, but Muhammad says that he would be to embarrassed to go back again.

This myth (I'm using the term to mean a sacred story, not implying falsity) works to explain the Islamic practice of salat, or daily prayer, which is supposed to be done five times a day. Before each prayer, one should clean his hands, face, mouth, nose, teeth, and feet. Prayer should be done by positioning oneself facing Mecca and bowing on one's knees all the way to the ground. Of course, this rule is only applicable to those who are physically capable.

While I am not a Muslim, I think this practice is pretty cool. It's a way of frequently reminding themselves that following God means submitting to God and his will, a reminder that many of us need all too often. Praying five times a day may be more than I practice, but I can appreciate the commitment and humility that comes with practicing the salat.

1. Islam's Seven Heavens
The Seven Heavens in the Islamic worldview are not levels of the paradise most Westerners think about when they hear "heaven". Instead, they are realms in which Prophets and angels dwell. The paradise where people go to dwell for eternity with Allah is called "Paradise", and its gates are located in the Seventh Heaven.

2. Jesus as a Prophet
In the Islamic tradition, Jesus is regarded as a holy Prophet, but not as God himself, unlike what is taught in the Gospel of John. He is found in the Seven Heavens along with many other Prophets.

3. Enoch
Enoch is mentioned in Genesis as a descendant of Adam through Seth and a great-grandfather of Noah. While he is vaguely described as a righteous man in Genesis and briefly referenced in Hebrews, he is the leading character in the ancient Jewish work titled The Book of Enoch, which is accepted as canon by the Ethiopian Orthodox Church.

4. Moses Challenging God
While this may be surprising to some readers that Moses disagrees with Allah's commandment regarding the amount of times to pray each day and changes Allah's mind, it seems to be part of their relationship. We see this in the Torah as well in Exodus 32.9-14:

The Lord said to Moses, “I have seen this people, and behold, they are an obstinate people. Now then let Me alone, that My anger may burn against them and that I may destroy them; and I will make of you a great nation.” Then Moses entreated the Lord his God, and said, “O Lord, why does Your anger burn against Your people whom You have brought out from the land of Egypt with great power and with a mighty hand? Why should the Egyptians speak, saying, ‘With evil intent He brought them out to kill them in the mountains and to destroy them from the face of the earth’? Turn from Your burning anger and change Your mind about doing harm to Your people. Remember Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, Your servants to whom You swore by Yourself, and said to them, ‘I will multiply your descendants as the stars of the heavens, and all this land of which I have spoken I will give to your descendants, and they shall inherit it forever.’” So the Lord changed His mind about the harm which He said He would do to His people.

World Naked Gardening Day 2013: Theological Nudity

Jesus said, "When you strip without being ashamed and you take your clothes and put them under your feet like little children and trample them, then you will see the child of the living one and you will not be afraid."

-Gospel of Thomas 37.2-3

Sadly, this year I will not be celebrating World Naked Gardening Day, as I still do not have a garden nor my own place, but I still wish to honor the idea of healthy nudity. I know some of you are wondering what happened to Ignakedio Zaragoza from last year's World Naked Gardening Day / Cinco de Mayo. He is no longer with us. We had some good times, but sadly I neglected to water him, as I am easily distracted. And I'm not much of a plant guy.

So is that it? Am I just going to talk about my past plants and not about the lack of pants? Sorry, that was bad. But no! Since I cannot celebrate properly, I will instead talk about what nudity means to me theologically speaking. Nudity is not merely an inner rebellion to tell society "screw you, I will be naked if I want to be", it is more than that. Because that is what faith and theology do: they bring meaning and symbolism to things that may look mundane to outsiders. Nakedness is very much a part of my faith.

My favorite myth of the Bible is the Garden of Eden. Here we see God making things how they are meant to function. He makes a beautiful garden, where man lives among nature and is happy, until he feels lonely, to which God responds by making a woman out of his side. Both are naked and are not ashamed (Genesis 2.25). Of course, the Promethean serpent talks Eve into eating the fruit of knowledge of Good and Evil, and as a result Adam and Eve feel shame. God asks them how they know they are naked; how could they possibly have a concept of nakedness if they were never clothed? And then we see blame being shifted, a sin which springs up from the original sin, which as we know quickly keeps rolling out of control. Cain kills Abel, etc, etc. It seems like nakedness is no longer a valid option. Sure, shame may be a product of our own insecurities, not a sin, but who cares, we are in a fallen world where we are prone to such contrasts to Eden, right? WRONG. Jesus of Nazareth comes and teaches us to be clean from our sins. Unlike the previous notion of atoning for these sins, Jesus teaches that God loves us as a father, and we don't need to worry about being forgiven if that is what we sincerely want. But he goes further, he teaches us that God's Kingdom, the realm on earth in which man lives as God made us to, is RIGHT HERE. What? Is this real life? And he teaches that we don't need to worry about what we do as much as we worry about our minds, because that is where sin starts. Righteous action naturally follows the righteous mind. This is not to say that we shouldn't be concerned with our actions, but rather that radical transformation starts by transforming the mind, not trying to manipulate actions. We don't need to "cut off our hand" out of fear of it causing us to sin and being cast away from God's presence, because our hand can't cause us to sin in the first place! We can be around sinners and heretics and prostitutes and taboo people, because we are responsible for our sins, not society or anything else! Our minds are the only thing keeping us from God's love. Pretty neat. So now, if we are supposed to be striving for God's Kingdom, AKA Eden, we can be naked. We don't need to let shame inhibit us from the liberation that comes from living life as God has created us to live despite our sins.

So nudity to me is not just being naked, it's about freedom. It symbolizes the freedom from the senseless shame that sin can bring, things that humans have concocted in their own minds. It's a symbol for my life in a world which I am actively working to be unstained from. In fact, early church baptisms were performed totally in the buff, including women (The Apostolic Tradition of Hippolytus, 3rd century CE)! Modesty was highly valued then, yet nothing but your body was permitted to be cleansed in the baptism. Baptism represents the purging of this-worldly corruption. It symbolizes rebirth. In this new life, this acceptance of Jesus' teachings, we can truly stand naked and unashamed before a world that is constantly trying to clothe us with shame. This nudity showed renewal.

Early Christian painting of baptism in the nude

So that's what nakedness is to me in the mythic realms of my mind. It is liberation from wallowing in sin; it is intimacy with God by living how he made me to live; it is a badge of my rebirth. I hope you all can get naked and go water something, and have a great World Naked Gardening Day!

World Naked Gardening Day AND Cinco de Mayo

What a day. As all of you should know, it's Cinco de Mayo, a Mexican and American holiday celebrating the the Mexican victory over the French in the Battle of Puebla in 1862. Most Americans celebrate by eating Mexican food and drinking tequila. Seeing as I do not intend on getting drunk at my parent's house, I went out and got some authentic Mexican food: Taco Bell.

2 bean burritos and a cheese roll up. Yum.

But that is only the beginning. Because what just so happens to also be today? World Naked Gardening Day. BOOM! And no, for you skeptics out there I did not invent this. Don't believe me? Click here. This is actually the eighth one. I believe it falls on either the last Saturday in April or the first Saturday in May (how they choose this, I do not know). But the idea is simple: nude up and do some gardening. Do it by yourself, or with family or friends. If you don't have a garden, maybe just go out and buy a small tropical plant for your windowsill. The purpose of World Naked Gardening Day is to promote our bodies as natural, not as something taboo or only for "behind closed doors" activities. It's about living comfortably in your skin and getting closer to nature.

http://wngd.org/

But if you are like me and live in a small house with a small backyard with absolutely no privacy, what do you do? Now naturally I want to just screw the judgement and go outside au naturel and plant some shit. But I cannot do this for 2 reasons. Reason 1: it could get me into trouble with the law, and I don't want to chance it getting in the way of my future job if someone reported me. Reason 2: I am living with my parents this summer and we do not have a garden. So, what am I to do? Do I want to go out and get a little Pansy for my window for me to care for without clothes on? Yes and no. I have never been a big gardener (although I did work for a garden center for two summers) so I am not the type to just get excited to care for some simple flower. I know people like that, and good for you, do what you are passionate about, but a dainty flower ain't gonna cut it for me. So yes, I will buy a plant from the store and care for it whilst naked. But no, it's not a Pansy. I BOUGHT A VENUS FLY TRAP. That's right. I am taking World Naked Gardening Day to the next level. Why have a pretty flower when you can have a carnivorous monster plant to guard your room from pesky flies? And given the nature of Cinco de Mayo, I will name him "Ignakedio Zaragoza", after Ignacio Zaragoza, the general who led the Mexican forces to victory in the Battle of Puebla.

Taco Bell. Nudity. Venus fly trap. This may just be my best Cinco de Mayo yet.

Ignakedio Zaragoza