What a day. As all of you should know, it's Cinco de Mayo, a Mexican and American holiday celebrating the the Mexican victory over the French in the Battle of Puebla in 1862. Most Americans celebrate by eating Mexican food and drinking tequila. Seeing as I do not intend on getting drunk at my parent's house, I went out and got some authentic Mexican food: Taco Bell.
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| 2 bean burritos and a cheese roll up. Yum. |
But that is only the beginning. Because what just so happens to also be today? World Naked Gardening Day. BOOM! And no, for you skeptics out there I did not invent this. Don't believe me? Click
here. This is actually the eighth one. I believe it falls on either the last Saturday in April or the first Saturday in May (how they choose this, I do not know). But the idea is simple: nude up and do some gardening. Do it by yourself, or with family or friends. If you don't have a garden, maybe just go out and buy a small tropical plant for your windowsill. The purpose of World Naked Gardening Day is to promote our bodies as natural, not as something taboo or only for "behind closed doors" activities. It's about living comfortably in your skin and getting closer to nature.
But if you are like me and live in a small house with a small backyard with absolutely no privacy, what do you do? Now naturally I want to just screw the judgement and go outside au naturel and plant some shit. But I cannot do this for 2 reasons. Reason 1: it could get me into trouble with the law, and I don't want to chance it getting in the way of my future job if someone reported me. Reason 2: I am living with my parents this summer and we do not have a garden. So, what am I to do? Do I want to go out and get a little Pansy for my window for me to care for without clothes on? Yes and no. I have never been a big gardener (although I did work for a garden center for two summers) so I am not the type to just get excited to care for some simple flower. I know people like that, and good for you, do what you are passionate about, but a dainty flower ain't gonna cut it for me. So yes, I will buy a plant from the store and care for it whilst naked. But no, it's not a Pansy. I BOUGHT A VENUS FLY TRAP. That's right. I am taking World Naked Gardening Day to the next level. Why have a pretty flower when you can have a carnivorous monster plant to guard your room from pesky flies? And given the nature of Cinco de Mayo, I will name him "Ignakedio Zaragoza", after Ignacio Zaragoza, the general who led the Mexican forces to victory in the Battle of Puebla.
Taco Bell. Nudity. Venus fly trap. This may just be my best Cinco de Mayo yet.
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| Ignakedio Zaragoza |
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